


Stars When You Shine

by Evan14



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25864195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evan14/pseuds/Evan14
Summary: Maeve, Amy, and Caleb are best friends with 2 major problems. Amy is crushing hard on Caleb while Maeve is pining after Amy. Then one day, Caleb goes missing, Amy and Maeve's only clue is a text he sent saying that he's fine. Maeve and Amy set off on a road trip to find their best friend, but who knows what will happen on the way?
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

MAEVE  
I’m not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be having a romantic date with my girlfriend at the park while the stars shine above us. Unfortunately, she just broke up with me for another girl, and my mother needs a “break” from my sisters, so I’m stuck babysitting. My mom’s not even at home with them all day! They’re in school! I can’t even talk about it without getting angry. Anyway, now my mother is out doing God knows what and I have to get this gum out of Ella’s hair.  
“How the hell did you get gum in your hair?” I ask Ella while trying to work at the sticky blob in Ella’s mass of tangled, curly locks with my fingers. Gross, I know, but what am I supposed to do? Cut it? For a 7-year-old, an unexpected haircut is the end of the world, especially when her hair just got long enough to do a braid like Elsa’s. Also, my mom would totally flip.  
“Put peanut butter in it!” Cameron yells from the other room.  
“What?” I call  
“Peanut butter, Maeve!” Cameron says as she walks into the kitchen browsing through her phone. “Or so says the Internet.”  
“Yeah, and we all know how reliable the Internet is.” I mutter, but I grab the peanut butter jar out of the pantry regardless. Ella is sitting in a kitchen chair, her blue eyes wide with fear.  
She’s the only one who won the genetic lottery, with my dad’s rounded, deep-set, hazel eyes and naturally curly hair. Cameron and I ended up with our mom’s eyes, which are narrower and a chocolate brown, and stick-straight hair. It took me forever to convince my mom to let me dye the tips red, and it took Cameron even longer to convince my mom to let her cut her hair. My mom hasn’t touched her hair with anything but a hairbrush since Dad died and I don’t think she intends to.  
I dip my fingers in the peanut butter and work them through Ella’s hair again. Miraculously, the gum comes out. Ella lets out a sigh of relief and runs to her room to shower.  
“I told you so,” Cameron says smugly.  
“What do you want, Cameron, a goddamn medal?” I say. Petty, I know, but I do not have the energy to deal with her snark like a good big sister.  
“Better pray I don’t tell Mom you were cursing around me again.” Cameron flips her shoulder-length hair and saunters back to her room.  
I exhale loudly and sit down on a kitchen chair. I hear Ella turning on her shower and Cameron’s door slamming. I sigh and open my phone to text my two best friends: Amy and Caleb.  
Caleb and I have been friends since middle school. We both knew what it was like to have shitty parents, and we shared a sarcastic sense of humor. Caleb’s skinny, with smooth chestnut colored skin and he’s perpetually tired. I’ve never met anyone who sleeps as little as he does, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him wearing anything but a sweatshirt. He always stays up way too late practicing piano. He’s lucky his piano’s in the garage because if he woke his parents he’d never hear the end of it.  
His parents have never actually hit him, but they’ve done plenty of mental damage making Caleb feel worthless. They’re always telling him he’s lazy when he’s too depressed to do his homework or even get up, and they are never satisfied with his grades. They always ask why he doesn’t have a girlfriend, but get mad when I come around, like I’m not a suitable prospective girlfriend for their son. Well, the joke’s on them ‘cause I’m hella gay.  
Caleb and I met Amy in our freshman year of high school, and she was the sweet to my sour and Caleb’s bitter. Amy’s tall and thin, with light brown hair, and cream-colored skin dotted with millions of light freckles. She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met. If I was in freaking Antarctica and needed a hug, she’d fly over there in a second to make me feel better. She’s also a fantastic singer, but she’ll never admit it. She has really bad anxiety, and she feels overwhelmed a lot. It took a while for Caleb and I to learn how to help her through her panic attacks, but we convinced her to start seeing a therapist and she’s a lot better now.  
We’ve been friends for about three years and Caleb and I are 17, but Amy just turned 16. She’s still in 11th grade with Caleb and I because she skipped 1st grade. I know I can depend on them for anything, and they know they can depend on me. So, when I’m feeling sad or upset, I text them.

Maeve: Sup you guys  
Caleb: Not much u?  
Maeve: I’m stuck babysitting the gremlins  
Amy: How are you doing with Amber and everything?  
Maeve: Im not sure  
Maeve: Im really mad at her for cheating on me but I also miss her a lot  
Caleb: If you get back together with her I will murder you  
Maeve: Don’t worry I won't  
Amy: We’re always here for you  
Maeve: Tnx  
Caleb: Wanna ft?  
Maeve: We can't facetime now dumbass we have an essay due tomorrow  
Caleb: Does it look like I give a shit?  
Amy: Caleb do your essay and you can call me if you need help  
Caleb: Fine

I take a deep breath and pull out my sketchbook. Sketching always makes me feel better, and I like to draw designs. Sometimes I sketch huge triangle patterns using neon markers. Sometimes I draw entire papers of ocean waves with intricate flowers woven into the foam in pastels. My favorite thing to draw is birds. Hawks, ravens, eagles, and majestic phoenixes in colors you wouldn’t think belong on birds.  
My dream is to become a tattoo artist, I just think it would be awesome to know that someone is walking around with my art on their skin. Caleb always lets me practice by drawing on his hands and arms. Once I asked him if it bothers him to have ink on him all day, but he said that when he’s feeling depressed, looking at his arms reminds him that he has friends who care about him. Caleb doesn’t talk about his depression a lot, so when he said this I almost cried.  
I lift my head up from my drawings and see Ella tiptoeing down the hall from her bedroom she shares with Cameron.  
“What’s wrong?” I ask,  
“Can you tuck me in?” She whispers. “Cameron won’t.”  
I smile and nod, following her to her room. Cameron is lying in her bed, curled up like a pillbug facing the wall. I scoop Ella up and place her gently on the bed opposite Cameron’s. I tuck the blankets in tight around Ella’s body and she giggles.  
“I’m a burrito!” She says. I put my finger to my lips, motioning my head towards Cameron’s still form underneath the blankets. I kiss Ella’s forehead and quietly exit the room.  
I go to my room and sit down on my bed. My hand unconsciously floats up to fiddle with the necklace Amber gave me, but I find my fingers grasping at empty air as I remember that I gave it back to her. My mind starts to wander. How did our relationship start anyway? I think it was in 10th grade, something about history class?  
Oh! I remember. I was in Mr. Redding’s history class, bored out of my mind when the girl sitting next to me caught my eye. She was gorgeous. Tall, with flawless coffee-colored skin and a halo of curly hair. By then I already knew I was gay, but when I looked at her, it was like I realized it all over again. I had a small inner freak out, like “oh my god she’s hot” “am I gay?” And then I realized, I AM gay and a whole dumbass.  
I was out to my mom, Amy, and Caleb, but no one else. I coughed quietly, but she looked over at me and God, her eyes. They looked like pools of golden honey and that was the moment I knew. I felt my lips pulling upward into a slow smile. She blushed and smiled back.  
After class, I walked up to her and asked her name. Amber, whose eyes look like her name and whose smile could light the world. We exchanged a few flirty comments, and over the next few days I kept dropping hints that I was gay, then finally asked her out. I was absolutely terrified that she was straight and or homophobic, but thank God, she was bi and said yes. We went on a few dates, mostly at cheap ice cream shops or walks around the neighborhood.  
I found out that she loved mint chip ice cream, and played soccer. I knew that her dad was an artist and wasn’t making much money, that her mom was working three part-time jobs, and that sometimes they had to choose between lights or food. She was only able to go to this school because they offer financial aid.  
She knew that I loved to draw, listened to My Chemical Romance almost obsessively, and spoke French. She knew that my mom wasn’t the best, my dad died before I was born, and apparently he wasn’t great either from what my mom says when she’s mad.  
She gave me her letterman jacket she got from her soccer team, and it was my favorite thing to wear because it’s way too big and it smells like her vanilla perfume. I loved it when she called me “sugar,” when she made fun of me for being short, and when she’d kiss my forehead, my nose, and then my lips like that was all she wanted to do.  
We were dating in secret, keeping our relationship private, but Amber wanted to take it public. I was too scared of what people would say. Call me a coward, but I didn’t want everyone to know that I’m gay. I guess Amber didn’t like that, so she found a girl who was confident in her sexuality. It would be so much easier if Sadie, Amber’s new girlfriend, was ugly and annoying. Unfortunately, she’s actually really pretty with pale, smooth skin and bright blue hair in a perfect pixie cut. She’s a ballerina and has a light laugh that sounds like fairy bells. She and Amber will be perfect together.  
So why am I so upset? Do I not want Amber to be happy?  
I lean my head back against my pillow, staring up at the ceiling. I hear the sound of a key turning in the door, and my head jerks up, my heart skipping a beat. Mom’s home. Fuck.  
I walk slowly into the kitchen, just in time to see her set down her purse with a loud thud. I cringe at the sound, knowing Ella wakes up easily.  
“Hey, Mom,” I caution.  
“You didn’t wash the dishes.” she says quietly, her tone acidic, “You didn’t wash them. Is it hard to wash them? Is that what it is? Why do I have to do every goddamn thing around here?”  
“Mom, I cannot deal with this right now. I just broke up with Amber, and I had to tug gum out of Ella’s hair, and I’m not going to stand here and take this right now.” I snap.  
“Oh, you finally broke up with her? Are you done now? Are you ready to get a boyfriend?” Her hopeful tone makes me want to punch her.  
“No, Mom. I am gay. This is not a phase or a choice, it is who I am. I am explicitly attracted to women, and you cannot change that.” I enunciate, slowly and clearly just like I’ve done a million times before, but I know she still won’t get it.  
“Whatever you say.” She mutters derisively, shaking her head as she walks off to her room. Whatever. Fuck her and her homophobia. I hate that my mom falls into the stereotype of “strict Asian parent” but what can you do?  
Amy’s lucky. Her aunt who she lives with completely supports her sexuality. Amy’s pansexual, she came out to me about a month ago. I was confused about what pansexuality was, but she explained it to me.  
The way she put it, pansexual people just love everyone regardless of their sex or sexuality, they just love people, but with bisexual people, there’s more of a distinction, sometimes they’ll have a preference towards a certain gender. Valerie, Amy’s aunt, is completely supportive, I mean, she’s a lesbian, it would be weird if she wasn’t, but my mom thinks that I’m going to hell because I’m gay and it’s her responsibility to change me or some shit. She’s been on a rampage to make me into the perfect cookie-cutter girl ever since my dad died, which has been my whole life.  
She won’t even let me pick my own profession, she wants me to be a lawyer like Dear Old Dad. From what I’ve heard, he had a habit of bribing the judge so he’d win a case. He also had a habit of drinking way too often. So often that he got into a car crash and died while my mom was pregnant with me. Fun story right?  
I don’t know if my mom ever loved my dad, she might have just married him for his money, but she definitely didn’t love him towards the end. She feels guilty ‘cause, you know, he’s dead. But that does not give her an excuse to be a shitty parent, I’m sorry but it doesn’t. It also really bothers me that she not only tries to “make me straight,” she does it in front of my sisters, causing them to have screwed up ideas about the LGBTQ community and what it means to be gay.  
I should probably have a talk with them about that at some point. My mom can be homophobic all she wants, but she is not taking my sisters with her.


	2. Chapter 2

AMY

“Amy! Time for dinner!” Valerie shouts from the kitchen.  
“Coming!” I reply, taking off my headphones, cutting the Beatles off mid-lyric. I walk into the kitchen to find Nya standing over a pot, stirring it slowly with Valerie hugging her from behind like a koala bear, her thin arms draped around Nya’s wide, spongy hips. I smile and start to set the table.  
Nya turns her head to kiss Valerie on the lips and then detaches herself from the hug to grab 3 spoons from the cabinet. Valerie smiles dreamily after her for a moment, and then yanks on some oven mitts.  
“You want a roll with your soup, honey?” Valerie asks, pulling a tray of store-bought rolls she warmed up in the oven. They smell amazing.  
“Sure,” Nya and I say together, and then laugh.  
“I was talking to Amy, but you’ll do too,” Valerie laughs and sets the tray down on the table.  
“Damn right I’ll do,” Nya smirks and carefully places the soup pot next to the rolls.  
I ladle some soup into my bowl, careful not to lean too close to the pot so the steam doesn’t fog up my glasses. I dip a roll into my soup filled bowl and take a large bite. Garlic-y goodness fills my mouth. Nya loves to cook traditional African dishes she learned from her mom, and this one is especially delicious.  
“What’s this called?” I ask  
“Egusi soup,” Nya says, blowing on her full spoon, “it has chicken, garlic, tomatoes, onions, and egusi seeds, of course. And it’s very healthy, so eat up!”  
“Is everything ok lately, Amy?” Valerie inquires. She floats her hand around vaguely. “Your aura seems off.”  
Yeah, it’s a little peculiar when Aunt Valerie talks about auras, but I’ve gotten used to it. Besides, she reads palms for a living, so I’m just glad she never asks to read mine. I don’t like having my future foreseen and things like that. I mean, I think destiny and fate are real, but I don’t like the idea that some people can see the future and some can’t. Also, if you know the future, that brings up a whole confusing argument of, “is the future only going to happen because you know what’s going to happen OR can I change the future now that I know what would have happened if I didn’t receive this knowledge”.  
Valerie, however, loves looking at people and figuring out what might happen to them in the future. She is very partial to herbal remedies and fortune teller things. She looks the type too, with long brown hair streaked with gray which she usually ties up in a disheveled bun. She’s always wearing some type of patterned shawl and loose bell bottom-esque pants. Nya and I joke that she looks like Doc Oc from that movie “Spiderman Into the Spiderverse”, especially with the glasses she usually forgets to wear.  
Valerie and Nya look like an odd couple at first glance. Nya’s short and curvy, with dark skin, her hair is usually in long twists, and she’s always wearing red lipstick. They look like complete opposites, and I know you’re not supposed to like it when your parents/guardians are romantic and mushy, but I think their love story is absolutely adorable.  
They met before Nya transitioned and before Valerie came out, so after they had been dating for a few months, Valerie turned to Nya and said, “look, I’m gay,” and Nya said, “oh, thank god, I’m trans.” And they continued dating. They’re the loveliest couple I know and I love them with all my heart.  
They’ve raised me since I was a baby. My parents weren’t married, and my dad left as soon as he found out my mom was pregnant. She wanted to give me up for adoption, but Valerie said she would take me in, and I’ve lived here ever since. My mom doesn’t come to visit often, but she always sends me a card on my birthday.  
“Everything’s fine!” I tell Valerie, hoping she’ll leave it alone, and thankfully she does. The truth is, things aren’t exactly exceptional at the moment. I’m having a kind of internal crisis. I’ve been thinking about Caleb a lot more than I used to, and I’m worried I might have a crush on him. This would be awful for multiple reasons.  
Caleb would never like someone like me  
This would completely mess up our friendship  
There is no way this doesn’t end in tears and sadness  
The bottom line is: I have to get over him. This is a bit more arduous than it sounds, due to the fact that I see him and talk to him basically every day. Also, I’m pretty sure Maeve also has a thing for him which would be potentially disastrous. I mean, she came out to me as gay, but with the way she’s been acting towards Caleb, she might be bi or pan like me.  
Right now, I just need to mellow out and focus on this soup, which is extremely delectable. I accidentally swallow a spoonful without blowing and let out a small yelp before swallowing it as quickly as possible.  
My aunts give me a strange look but return to their soup.  
“You look like you could use some of my essential oils.” Valerie muses. “Rose and lavender should work, just rub some on your collar bones before bed. Rose and lavender are scientifically proven to relieve stress, you know.”  
“Aunt Valerie, I really don’t think I need-” I begin,  
“No buts! Doctor knows best,” she interrupts, smiling smugly.  
“Ironic considering I’m actually the doctor around here,” Nya swallows another spoonful of soup, pursing her lips playfully.  
“Since when does a pediatric doctor know anything about essential oils?” Valerie wonders.  
“Since she dates a palm reader,” Nya replies.  
“Since she married a palm reader,” Valerie corrects her, standing up and pulling a black box out of her pocket.  
Nya gasps and my hands fly to my mouth, covering a gigantic grin.  
“Nya, the light of my life, the moon to my stars,” Valerie says, her voice shaking, “Will you marry me?”  
Nya’s eyes fill as she stands up.  
“Yes!” she says in a voice that’s as shaky as Valerie’s in an attempt to control her happiness, “Yes.”  
Valerie and Nya kiss, and as I blink I find my own tears spilling over. I beam and put my bowl in the sink and quietly exit to my room, leaving my aunts to their moment.  
I flop down on my bed and exhale with a huge smile. A wedding! This is going to be so amazing, summer weddings are always beautiful. I wipe my eyes and flex my fingers a few times, trying to clear my head. I still have homework to do, and I need to pack my bag for school tomorrow, and oh! I need to tell Maeve and Caleb!  
They’re elated, obviously, and can’t wait to attend the ceremony. I try to control my smile, but can’t so I try to focus on my homework. I’m supposed to write an essay on why Caesar was stabbed. I start to write the introduction but get interrupted by a knock on the door.  
Nya and Valerie enter, smiling and blushing softly.  
“I’m so thrilled for you!” I squeal and hug them tightly.  
“Thank you so much, love,” Nya says, “we’re just here to ask if you would be my maid of honor and if Maeve would be our bridesmaid.”  
My heart fills with happiness and gratitude that I would be chosen as the maid of honor. “I would love to! Thank you so much,” I gush, “and I’m sure Maeve will also be happy too, I’ll ask her and let you know.” They look at each other sweetly, then Valerie blows me a kiss as they exit the room, closing the door softly behind them. I go back to my essay, but soon enough my phone chimes. I pick it up and see that Maeve is stuck babysitting and Caleb is procrastinating his essay. I offer Maeve sympathy and tell Caleb he must do his essay immediately. I’ve only known Maeve and Caleb for about a year, but we’ve fallen into such an easy camaraderie, it seems like we’ve been friends forever.  
A few hours later, I’m finally finished with my essay and the rest of my homework. I take a quick shower, change into pajamas, and get into bed. The last thing I remember before I drift off to sleep is that I need to ask Maeve to be a bridesmaid.


	3. Chapter 3

MAEVE

Shit.  
I woke up late.  
I hop out of bed, brush my teeth, and get dressed as quickly as humanly possible. This takes longer than the average person because most of the stuff I want to wear my mom would kill me for wearing to school. Finally, I settle on an old pair of jeans, a t-shirt I distressed using a YouTube tutorial, and my favorite Doc Martens. I run into the kitchen, where my mom is putting snacks into a pink backpack for Ella and Cameron is nowhere to be seen. She’s probably already left because she wakes up on time unlike me.  
I open the pantry and look around frantically for a minute before grabbing a granola bar for breakfast and a bag of chips for lunch. Yeah, it’s unhealthy I know, but you gotta make do.  
“Bye, Mom.” I say, stuffing the food in my bag before mussing up Ella’s hair playfully, “Bye, Ella Bella.”  
I run out the door and start jogging to Amy’s house when I realize that I forgot my English essay.  
I dash back home, and of course, my key decides to not like me at that moment and doesn’t fit in the lock. I struggle for at least 5 minutes and finally get the door open.  
“Why are you back home?” My mom shouts as I yank my essay off my desk.  
“I forgot my essay!” I answer as I sprint out the door to Amy’s house. I knock on the door and she answers immediately.  
Of course she would be ready on time, and she looks pretty, in a thick knitted sweater the color of the sky and a black polka-dotted skirt. I catch myself staring at her legs and force my eyes up to meet her smiling blue ones.  
“What’s up?” She asks, pushing up her glasses which have slipped down her nose and closing the front door behind her. We start to walk towards Caleb’s house.  
“Nothing much,” I say, trying to ignore what a stark contrast my distressed t-shirt and jeans make to her perfect student-y outfit. Especially with me being out of breath and sweaty from running around so much. “Mom’s being annoying, school’s going great, as usual.”  
“Is it really?” Amy teases, “What happened with that English exam then?”  
“Shut up! That was hard!” I exclaim, pushing her playfully, “and you’re one to talk, seeing you needed my help with science.”  
“The only reason you’re good at chemistry is because you listen to MCR way too often,” Amy says.  
“Amy, for the millionth time, My Chemical Romance has literally nothing to do with science.” I laugh, “You’d know that if you listened to anything other than Etta James and the Beatles.”  
Amy gasps, pretending to be offended. “Don’t insult the loves of my life!” She says, clasping one hand to her chest.  
I laugh as we walk up to Caleb’s doorstep and ring the bell. Caleb opens the door just wide enough for him to slip through, faster than I thought was possible, and slams the door behind him.  
“Bad morning?” I ask sympathetically.  
“Don’t get me started.” He mutters, rolling his eyes.  
“Is anyone ready for the history test today?” Amy says, trying to change the subject.  
“Hell no,” Caleb says, “I studied for like 15 minutes but it’s fine, Mr. Wilson’s quizzes are so fucking easy.”  
“You should still study!” Amy says reproachingly, “Here, I’ll test you guys.” She pulls out a pack of flashcards from her backpack, and Caleb groans.  
“Amy, we love you, but chill,” he says affectionately, grabbing the flashcards out of her hand.  
“Ugh, fine,” she says, but she’s smiling as she takes the flashcards back from Caleb and puts them back in her bag.  
“Stop flirting, you two,” I tease, but Amy blushes way too hard as she looks determinedly away from Caleb. I wonder if something’s going on between them. I really hope not because… well, I don’t know why. I should probably think about that more.  
But not right now because that will take more mental energy than I am willing to spare at the moment. Also, I love procrastinating.  
“Oh my goodness! Maeve!” Amy says suddenly, “I can’t believe I forgot to tell you! Valerie and Nya want us to be their bridesmaids!”  
“Ah! I would love to!” I say happily. I’m so excited that they’re getting married, they are absolutely perfect for each other.  
“What about me?” Caleb deadpans “Wouldn’t I be a beautiful bridesmaid?”  
“You would be a gorgeous bridesmaid,” Amy reassures him laughingly, “But unfortunately you’d have to wear this dress.”  
She pulls up a picture on her phone of a skinny white model wearing a light gray, strapless above-the-knee blue dress. It actually looks kind of pretty, but I’m scared of strapless dresses. It’s like a legitimate fear that I cannot explain.  
“I’d totally wear that,” Caleb says, looking at Amy’s phone and nodding his head. He’s completely serious.  
“Fuck yeah, Caleb, break those gender norms,” I laugh, grabbing Amy’s phone to take a closer look.  
“I’m sure you’d look spectacular, especially with the high heels Nya insisted on.” Amy smiles.  
“High heels? No way, I’m out.” Caleb says, “I’d rather jump off a building.”  
We all crack up as I pass Amy back her phone.  
“At least you don’t have to wear the maid-of-honor dress,” Amy says, “It looks pretty on the model, but I’m nervous about how it will look on me.”  
She holds out her phone again with a picture of a blonde model wearing a dress that’s a shade darker than the one I’m supposed to wear. It’s the same length as the bridesmaid dress, but slightly longer in the back. It has a V-neck and long sleeves and is also really pretty. I don’t know why in the hell she thinks it won’t look good on her.  
“Here we are,” Caleb says sarcastically as we approach the school. “The happiest place on earth.”  
I snort and as I look around I catch sight of Amber and am about to head her way when Amy grabs my hand. I look back at her and she shakes her head, gesturing subtly towards Sadie, who has walked over to Amber and intertwined their fingers.  
I can physically feel my heart hurting as I turn away from them. Amy squeezes my hand and smiles sympathetically before walking away. I watch her go and rub my eyes hard, trying to clear my mind.  
I slowly walk to my first class: art, which is usually my favorite class. I’m supposed to be sketching out my ideas for a monochromatic painting, but I can’t focus. I just keep thinking about Amy holding my hand, her warm fingers firm against mine, and her soft skin. Makes me wonder what it would feel like to caress her face.  
Oh fuck.  
Fuckety fuck fuck.  
I have a crush on Amy.


	4. Chapter 4

AMY

I really hope I haven’t completely ruined everything.  
That’s the thought that runs through my mind as I walk slowly towards my first class: English.  
On the walk to school, I was flirting with Caleb, but it was completely unintentional! Then Maeve sounded upset when she commented on it, so my face decided to turn into a tomato and of course, I just had to go and grab her hand after. Why did I do that?  
Maybe I should have let Maeve go to Amber, but that would have been disastrous for both of them. Oh, but she looked so sad! I can’t decide if I’m helping her avoid further heartbreak, and it’s just better for her to get over Amber or maybe they’re meant to be together and I’m keeping them apart. I think that Maeve deserves better than Amber. I mean, she did cheat on her.  
I keep remembering how it felt to hold Maeve’s hand. Her fingers were thin and slightly cold, but they felt good on my warm skin.  
Why am I thinking about this? This is not a good start to the morning. At least now I have English, but I just hope I can focus.  
My English teacher, Mrs. Wilson, is by far my favorite teacher. I think she’s absolutely charming and I love the way she bounces around the room while reading out loud to us from the book we’re currently reading, “To Kill a Mockingbird”. Her voice gets lower and more ominous on the serious parts, and then when something surprising or exciting happens, she slams her hands down on her desk, making everyone jump.  
Even though my mind feels a million miles away, Mrs. Wilson brings me back down to earth with Scout and Jem’s childish antics. I remain focused for the rest of her class and in the next five classes as well.  
When the lunch bell finally rings, I walk to my locker and put away my books, and then head towards the cafeteria. Maeve and Caleb are already sitting down in our usual spot, Caleb has his head down on the table and Maeve is rooting around in her bag, looking for something.  
I plop down next to Caleb and pull my Tupperware full of pasta out of my bag. I notice that Maeve has pulled a bag of chips out of her backpack and is opening it, and I look at her in disbelief.  
“Is that all you’re eating for lunch?” I ask incredulously,  
“Don’t look at me like that, I was running late,” She mumbles, popping a few chips into her mouth.  
“Well, that’s definitely not healthy,” I say decisively, “Do you want half of mine?”  
“What do you have?” Maeve asks warily. She’s a very picky eater, and doesn’t like most of the things Nya makes, but pretends to when she comes over for dinner, which is about once a week.  
“It’s pasta with pesto sauce,” I open the Tupperware and divide the noodles into two portions with the plastic fork I brought.  
“That sounds relatively plain,” Maeve says, “was it Valerie’s turn to cook this week?”  
“Nya made this delicious soup last night, but yeah, the day before it was Valerie.” I start looking through my bag for another plastic fork or spoon and then notice that Caleb hasn’t said a word since I sat down.  
“Caleb, are you ok?” I ask as I look up from the depths of my backpack, clutching a plastic spoon triumphantly. “Do you want some pasta?”  
“I’m not fantastic” he replies, his head still buried in his arms on the table. “And I’m not hungry, but thanks anyway.”  
“Wanna talk about it?” Maeve asks, taking the spoon from me and mouthing the words “thank you”.  
“About my lack of hunger? Or my emotion shit?” Caleb’s voice is muffled, but his sarcasm is still audible. That boy would give sass to the president if the opportunity arose. “Maybe later.”  
“How’s your grandma, by the way?” I ask, “The last time you mentioned her she was sick.”  
“Oh, she’s fine, it was just a cold,” Caleb lifts his head up from the table, “But you know how my grandpa loves to overreact when something is wrong with her.”  
“I love hearing stories about your grandparents,” Maeve says, her mouth full of pasta. “They seem so sweet.”  
“They are, that’s why I don’t get how the two of them possibly are related to my mom,” Caleb shakes his head, “It makes no fucking sense.”  
“Even if your parents are shitty sometimes, I’m glad you have your grandparents, and I want to meet them already!” Maeve says, slapping Caleb’s arm playfully. She pulls some markers off the empty chair next to her. “Can I draw on you? I just got these new markers and I really want to use them.”  
“Sure,” Caleb rolls up his sweatshirt sleeve and holds out his arm. As I watch Maeve’s long, pale fingers wrap around Caleb’s forearm I feel a pang in my heart.  
It’s stupid, I know, but I can’t help it. I wish there was something I could do that helps Caleb as much as Maeve drawing on him does. He’s never mentioned it to me, but you can tell he loves the calming feeling of her markers on his skin and looking at the designs afterward.  
I force my eyes away from Maeve and Caleb and start to pack up my lunch. The bell rings loudly and I jump. I quickly shove the Tupperware into my bag and start to head towards science.  
“Amy! Wait up!” I hear Maeve’s Converse smack the floor as she tries to catch up. I stop walking and turn around and watch her run towards me. She reaches me and tries to rest her arm on my shoulder, but she’s too short and I’m too tall for that to be comfortable. I push her arm off jokingly and put my own arm around her shoulders.  
As we walk towards the classroom I can hear her panting softly  
“You really are awful at running,” I joke.  
“Tell that to my mom,” Maeve huffs, “She still wants me to join a sport.”  
We enter the classroom and sit down next to each other. Mr. Lewis enters the classroom and Maeve and I exchange an acerbic look. We both know what’s coming.  
Mr. Lewis is notorious for his controversial and often downright bigoted comments, so Maeve and I have learned to be on our guard, ready for an argument. Once we had an argument with him about gay rights during a lesson on reproduction. He said something along the lines of “gay people shouldn’t get married because it’s unnatural” and Maeve blew up at him.  
It was during freshman year, and I was way too shy to get involved, but I wish I had. Maeve was fantastic, she didn’t back down, and she would not let him win. Sometimes I wish I had her confidence. I always overthink everything I say before I say it, then I don’t end up saying it, so I wonder if I’d be more like Maeve without my anxiety.  
I just love the way she isn’t afraid of what people will think or say, she just does what she wants. When she’s angry, her eyes light up and she’s almost graceful in her fury. We ran out of time that day, but we all knew Maeve had won the argument. All except for Mr. Lewis that is, he walked away with his nose in the air indignantly.  
I just hope that if he says something awful again that I have the courage to stand up to him.


	5. Chapter 5

MAEVE  
I really hope I’m not being too obvious. I mean, running to Amy and trying to rest my arm on her shoulder? That’s a little overboard. Amy tends to be pretty oblivious though, so I think I’m safe.  
Mr. Lewis enters the classroom and Amy and I exchange a knowing glance. We’re both prepared for anything he tries to throw at us. I remember in freshman year I yelled at him for the whole class about gay rights. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but it was bad. At first, it was scary to be the only person standing up to his homophobia, but I just rode the wave of anger, and then suddenly everything was silent, my temper spent and Mr. Lewis standing speechless.  
I wasn’t mad at Amy for not helping me out, I get that it’s scary to take a stand sometimes, especially for her, but I was scared too. Most times I just get too angry to sit down and take whatever bullshit someone’s spewing.  
Mr. Lewis fires up his Powerpoint and starts talking about states of matter. I’m not really paying that much attention, just copying down what the slides say.  
“There are three states of matter,” Mr. Lewis says, “Solids, liquids, and gas.” He pauses for a beat.  
“I’m sure you all are familiar with different states of matter, as your generation is prone to have many people with different states of matter! But instead of solids, liquids, and gases, you seem to go through stages of boy! Girl! Even an attack helicopter!” He chuckles at his own joke.  
It takes me a second to register this absolute and utter bullshit, but as soon as I do my hand shoots up.  
But Amy beats me to it.  
“There are multiple things wrong with that statement,” she says as she stands up, “First of all, it’s not just my generation. There are plenty of transgender people in your generation and in generations before you, and you either choose not to educate yourself, or they never came out and lived sad lives because they were afraid of people like you.”  
I kind of want to jump in, but honestly, she’s got this. There’s a fire burning in her eyes and her hands are clenched in tight fists by her sides. She does not look like someone you want to mess with. I have a small moment of realization because, with her wavy sand-colored hair, the freckles sprinkled in constellations on her cheeks, and her eyes blazing, she really is beautiful.  
The moment is gone as quickly as it came, and I come crashing back down to earth as Amy continues talking.  
“Second of all,” she says, “Transgender people don’t go through ‘states of matter’ they were born into the wrong body!” She uses air quotes around the words “states of matter”.  
“Their sex, what they were biologically born as, does not line up with the gender they were assigned at birth. We as a society constructed gender and its roles based on a person’s sex, but gender and sex are two completely different things.” She looks ready to keep talking, but Mr. Lewis interrupts her.  
“So what?” he says, “They can’t just decide to be a different gender.”  
“Mr. Lewis,” I say, “Unless you are actually transgender, you do not have the fucking right to tell transgender people that they are making things up or to deny them basic human rights.”  
Amy grins at me before turning back to Mr. Lewis who looks horrified at my language.  
“Maeve is absolutely correct, Mr. Lewis. And did you know it’s actually scientifically proven that the bed nucleus of the stria terminalis in transgender women is more similar to the bed nucleus of cisgender women than cisgender men?” She takes a deep breath, trying to steady herself.  
“Third of all, sir, no actual transgender person identifies as an attack helicopter. You are committing a gross logical fallacy by saying that if we allow people to transition to who they truly are, people will start identifying as helicopters or toasters. Someone identifying as a different gender has no correlation whatsoever to someone deciding that they are now an inanimate object.”  
I find myself standing up too. It’s Amy and me against him. “I think what Amy’s trying to say, Mr. Lewis, is that transgender men are men, transgender women are women, and you’re a fucking bigot.”  
Mr. Lewis doesn’t know what to do. As we sit down, his face is bright red as he sputters around for something to say.  
“Go to the principal’s office,” He finally manages to spit out. “You will not use that kind of language in my class.”  
Amy and I look at each other and just crack up. We continue to laugh as we exit the classroom together.  
“That was amazing!” I say to Amy, as we’re walking home a few hours later. Caleb would be walking with us, but he has extra tutoring at school today. “You completely destroyed the man, I almost feel bad for him! But I am so glad that school is almost over, and we won’t have him as a teacher next year. ”  
“Ugh, same. But I do NOT feel bad for him at all.” Amy giggles, “He deserved it, that fucker.”  
“And he sent us to Lopez!” I slap my forehead in amazement, “I can’t believe he sent us to Mrs. Lopez, I mean, he has to know that her partner is non-binary.”  
“Yeah, it’s pretty common knowledge.” Amy says, “Remember the school board almost fired her for mentioning Morgan at an assembly?”  
“Yeah, that was awesome! And then Lopez brought them to a school fundraiser! Ultimate power move.” I remember that fundraiser, it was in the school gym, and Lopez shows up with this gorgeous person with lavender hair and a green pantsuit who’s name is fucking Morgan, I mean that sounds like an enchantress or something. I low-key had a crush on them, but it was short-lived, ‘cause, you know, they’re married. To my principal.  
The point is, Mrs. Lopez is a badass and promised us that she’d talk to Mr. Lewis. I hoped he’d get fired but I guess we’ll have to settle for him getting a Mrs. Lopez lecture, which is hella scary.  
“Oh, on a completely random note, when’s the wedding?” I ask. I am so so excited for the wedding, and to be honest, I’m also really excited to see Amy wearing that bridesmaid dress because I’m a disaster lesbian.  
“It’s soon actually,” Amy says, pulling out her phone, probably to look at her calendar. “It’s in two weeks, on Sunday at 2 o'clock sharp.”  
“Wow, that’s really soon. That’s right after school ends.” I say, “I can’t wait!” For a different reason than she thinks.  
“Same!” Amy grins, “It’s so funny, usually at home Valerie’s the one telling Nya to relax, but now Valerie is so nervous and she’s being so nitpicky about every single detail of the wedding and Nya is the one telling her to calm down.”  
She stops walking, we’ve reached her house.  
“See you later!” She smiles and walks up to her front step.  
I have the urge to ask her to come back, but I don’t know what I would do after that, so I stay silent and watch her enter her house, leaving me alone on the street.


	6. Chapter 6

AMY  
It’s crazy how fast the weeks fly by! I can’t believe that Valerie and Nya’s wedding is tomorrow. I am almost shaking with excitement but that’s nothing compared to Valerie. She’s changed the color of the tablecloths at least 10 times before Nya finally convinced her to stick with her first choice, light pink. Maeve and I have already bought our bridesmaid dresses, we had a big shopping outing with the other bridesmaids, Valerie and Nya’s friends. There are 6 of us in total, and 2 groomsmen, Nya’s brother and Valerie’s best friend from college.  
The only thing putting a damper on all this happiness is that Caleb has been a little off lately. He’s even quieter than usual, and it seems like he’s trying to take up as little space as possible at all times, when we’re sitting in class, at lunch, walking to school, or just hanging out.  
I’m really worried about him.  
I spent the whole day helping Nya and Valerie set up our backyard for the wedding. We hired a company to help us out, and now the backyard looks perfect. There are small circular tables covered in pink tablecloths set up behind the chairs and an altar covered with white flowers. Fairy lights are hung all around and they make the whole backyard look magical and ethereal. Valerie and Nya are so happy with the final product, and we’re all exhausted from moving so much stuff around.  
Right now I’m sitting at my desk on a phone call with Maeve. We’re talking about Mr. Lewis’s final project and how annoying it was to find all the information he asked for because he didn’t teach half of it.  
“His instructions never make sense, it’s so annoying.” Maeve grumbles, “And he’s so nitpicky! He took off 5 points because I used the wrong color to highlight something.”  
“Are you joking? That’s insane!” I shake my head, “I’m so glad we don’t have him next year.”  
“Yes, thank God,” Maeve sighs, “Good riddance to him.”  
“Well, I should probably go,” I say, “I am so exhausted.” I’m about to hang up when I get a text notification.  
Without hanging up, I take my phone away from my ear to check the screen. It’s a text from Caleb that reads “I’m leaving for a while, don’t worry about me.”  
My heart starts beating faster and my chest constricts.  
No, no, no, fuck I cannot have a panic attack right now,  
“Maeve?” My voice sounds squeaky and way too breathy, “Maeve, don’t hang up, Maeve, Maeve,” God, stop repeating her name! “Maeve, did- did Caleb, did he just text you?”  
“Yeah,” Maeve whispers, “Holy shit, holy fucking shit, where the fuck is he?”  
“I don’t know!” My voice cracks, “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t fucking know, fuck,”  
“Amy!” Maeve’s voice startles me, “Ames, you can handle this, take a deep breath,”  
“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t”  
I can’t breathe, I can’t stop repeating myself, I can’t fucking talk, fuck.  
“Yes you can,” Maeve’s voice is soothing, “You can breathe, just imagine I’m right there holding your hand, and take a deep breath.”  
I squeeze my eyes shut and try to bring back the memory of holding Maeve’s hand that day in school. I take a shaky breath in and out.  
“There you go,” Maeve says calmly, “You ok?”  
I take another breath. “Yeah. Thank you.”  
“Of course,” I can almost hear her smiling through the phone, “I’m always here for you, Ames.”  
“I think we should go to his house,” I say, my brain is starting to think rationally again. “Maybe his parents know where he went.”  
“Ok,” Maeve says, “Meet you there in five.”  
I yell to Nya and Valerie that I’m going for a walk and then walk as quickly as possible towards Caleb’s house. I knock loudly as Maeve jogs up to the front step.  
“Hey,” she says, putting her hand on my shoulder. “It’s going to be ok.”  
Caleb’s mom opens the door.  
Her lips are pressed tightly together and the halo of curly hair around her head only adds to the feeling I get that there are waves of anger wafting off her.  
“Hey, Mrs. Ross,” I say, “We were just wondering if you know where Caleb is.”  
“My boy’s gone,” Her tone is low and raspy, “He’s gone. And good riddance.” Her voice gets louder, “He can’t live in our home anymore! He’s long gone.”  
Maeve gasps, and manages to choke out, “You kicked him out? Why?”  
Mrs. Ross opens her mouth to respond, but her husband comes up behind her and puts a hand on her shoulder.  
“What is going on here, Lisa?” His voice is deep and authoritative.  
“These lil’ girls are asking about Caleb,” she says, “And I don’t know what to tell them.” Her voice cracks.  
“I know exactly what to tell them,” Mr. Ross fixes a blazing glare on Maeve and I. “Caleb made a decision that we do not condone. If he refuses to retract his decision, he can no longer live under our roof.”  
“Do you know where he might have gone?” I ask tentatively.  
“I do not,” Mr. Ross says, “And I don’t want you two coming back here. Leave me and my family alone. Caleb will be fine.”  
He slams the door, and Maeve and I look at each other, utterly bewildered.  
Why would Caleb’s family kick him out?  
What happened?  
Maeve runs her hands through her dyed red hair. “We have to find him.” She says quietly. “We have to check everywhere he might be.”  
“How?” I say, “We could drive to his grandparents’ house, he might have told them where he was going.”  
“That’s actually a good idea,” Maeve’s eyebrows scrunch together in a really cute way as we start to walk away from Caleb’s house. “You know I’m a shit driver, so could you drive and we’ll use my car?”  
“That sounds good,” I say, “But we need to wait till after the wedding. Caleb’s grandparents live in Oregon, it will take us a day to drive there and we can’t miss the wedding. Caleb said he was ok, and I know he wouldn’t lie to us.”  
Maeve opens her mouth to argue, but then thinks for a minute and closes it. “Ok,” she says. “We’ll wait.”  
“Thank you.” I pull her into a hug, “We will find him.” I promise, “Don’t worry.”  
I walk her home and then walk back to my house and sit on my bed, staring at my hands which are shaking. Valerie and Kaliilah enter quietly and sit next to me. Valerie slowly strokes my hair.  
“You ok, love?” Nya asks, her face looks concerned.  
“Caleb’s missing,” I say, my voice cracking despite all my efforts to control it. “Maeve and I are going to go try to find him after the wedding.”  
“Oh, A,” Valerie whispers, using her favorite nickname for me. “I’m so sorry. I really hope he’s ok. But going on a road trip with just you and Maeve? Are you sure you’ll be safe?”  
I sit up to meet her eyes. “I will be safe,” I say forcefully, “I promise.”  
Nya and Valerie exchange a glance. Something unspoken seems to pass between them before they look back at me.  
“We trust you,” Valerie says, smiling softly, “We trust you to keep yourself safe and to make the right decisions.”  
“We also know that there’s no way we’re going to stop you from doing this.” Nya adds, “So just keep your phone on you so we can contact you and know where you are.”  
I nod, “I will, and I am not missing your wedding. You two are more important to me than anything.”  
Nya’s eyes fill as she pulls me and Valerie into a hug.  
“I love you both so much,” She says, “I can’t wait to officially be a part of this family.”  
Valerie kisses the top of my head as she and Nya detach themselves from the group hug. They walk out of my room and close the door behind them.  
I stand up and go through my nightly routine which takes about an hour. I drift off to sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.  
The next morning, I wake up with a start. The wedding starts at 11, and it’s currently 8 AM.  
The hours pass in a frantic rush, everyone trying to do everything at once. Finally, at 10:30, I am dressed, my hair and makeup are done, and I’m sitting with Valerie on the couch. She’s wearing a suit and tie, her hair tied up in a much neater and fancier version of her usual bun. She keeps pressing her lips together, either out of nervousness or because she’s not used to the pale pink lipstick I convinced her to wear.  
The doorbell rings, and when I open it Nya’s twin brothers, Kofi and Odion are standing there with Valerie’s best friend from college, Cedric. They’re wearing suits with ties that match the color of the bridesmaids’ dresses. Cedric’s matches mine, though, because he’s the best man. I usher them in, and they hug Valerie and tell her how excited they are.  
The doorbell rings again, and this time it’s Maeve. I stand there in shock staring at her.  
Her fawn-colored shoulders stand out against the pale gray of the strapless dress, and her lips are rosy pink and quirked up in a smile.  
“You gonna invite me in or what?” She jokes, and I come out of my reverie and usher her in with a grin.  
“You look great,” we say at the same time and then laugh. We walk past Valerie who’s joking with Kofi and Cedric and go into Nya and Valerie’s bedroom, where Nya is waiting with her friend Ama and Valerie’s friend Avital. She’s Jewish, but her family is ok with her participating in a non-Jewish wedding.  
The circlet part of Nya’s veil sits nestled in her shiny corkscrew curls, her lips are painted a perfect shade of red and she looks radiant in her white, ball gown style dress. She is beautiful.  
“Are you nervous?” I ask, sitting down next to her.  
Nya looks at me and smiles, her dark eyes shining brighter than the stars. “No. I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life.”  
We wait a little while longer, and then I exit the room and go to see if everything is going well. Most of the guests have arrived by now, and are chatting with each other and with Valerie.  
The minister is standing at the altar, and he looks at his watch and motions for everyone to sit down. As everyone finds a seat, I run back into the room and motion for everyone to come to stand outside behind all the chairs so we can see when it’s our time to walk down the aisle.  
Nya’s mother walks down first, wiping her eyes as the music starts.  
Valerie walks down after her, smoothing the front of her suit and beaming. There are whispers and light clapping coming from the crowd. She winks at her parents, my grandparents when she passes by them and my grandma blows her a kiss.  
Next comes Cedric, who holds the rings and passes them to Valerie, then Kofi and Odion.  
Now it’s Maeve’s turn. She gives me a nervous smile before going to walk down the aisle with Ama and Avital.  
When it’s my turn, I shake my hands a bit to stop them from jittering and then walk down the aisle and stand opposite Valerie. She winks at me.  
Ama’s niece, Imani, skips down the aisle in a ruffled pink dress, holding a basket of flower petals and throwing them on the floor enthusiastically.  
Finally, Nya and her father enter, Nya holding her father’s arm like a princess, and locking eyes with Valerie from underneath her lacy veil  
As they reach the altar, Nya’s father lifts up her veil and kisses her forehead gently.  
The minister greets all the guests and invites Cedric up to say a few words. He gets emotional towards the end of his speech, but he receives a standing ovation.  
Nya and Valerie can barely contain their smiles as they exchange their vows and slip the rings on each others’ fingers.  
At last, the minister says, “You may kiss the bride,” and Valerie dips Nya and kisses her. The guests give them a standing ovation, someone lets out a wolf whistle, and Nya laughs as she starts down the aisle with Valerie.  
She throws the bouquet of flowers behind her, and it plops in Maeve’s surprised hands. She does a double-take and then giggles nervously, glancing at me and then looking away quickly.  
The rest of the wedding passes in a blur of food, laughter, and conversation. I mostly hang out with Maeve because I have a limit on how long I can talk to my extended family about how much I’ve grown. As soon as the last guest leaves, I go into my room and fall backward onto my bed. I pull off my high heels and lay on my bed for a minute, staring at the ceiling. It is very hard to get up, but somehow I do, and I start to pack my backpack with clothes and food.  
It’s time to find Caleb.


	7. Chapter 7

MAEVE

The wedding was a complete disaster. I mean, it was beautiful, and I might have cried a bit, but I felt so awkward! When Amy opened the door for me, I must have stood there staring at her for a good five minutes. She looked so goddamn pretty, my brain kind of short-circuited. The gray dress really brought out the blonde in her hair and her cheeks were rosy and she just looked amazing. Also, it was really scary to walk down the aisle, but I did it!  
THEN I caught the bouquet of flowers??? How the fuck did that even happen?? And my first reaction was to look at Amy because I’m an idiot and then she saw me looking at her. God, I’m a disaster right now.  
But I don’t have time to be a disaster! I have to pack a bag and get the hell out of Dodge. I wait till my sisters are asleep and my mom is in bed, at about 8:00, then I open my backpack that I usually use for school. I empty all my school supplies out onto my bed and choose some jeans and shirts from my closet to pack. I grab a toothbrush, toothpaste, a hairbrush, and deodorant of course. Finally, I tiptoe into the kitchen, grab some snacks, and make a few peanut butter sandwiches. I put the food in a separate compartment in my bag and I’m about to grab my keys when I feel a tap on my shoulder.  
I turn around and Cameron is standing there in a too-big-shirt and shorts.  
“Where are you going?” She whispers angrily, “In the middle of the night?”  
I see Ella tiptoeing up behind Cameron. “Where are you going, May?” Her voice is so innocent and sad, I can feel my heart cracking in two.  
“I need to leave, but I’ll be back soon, I promise,” I say, kneeling down to Ella’s height and looking her in the eyes.  
“Are you running away?” Cameron’s voice is still low, but she’s no longer whispering. “Is this because you keep arguing with Mom about…” I can almost see the gears turning in her brain as she searches for an appropriate term, “About your life decision?”  
I take a deep breath. I guess we’re having this conversation now. I motion them both to sit down at the kitchen table. Before I sit down, I press my ear to my mother’s bedroom and make sure the TV is on so she can’t hear us. Then I sit down.  
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you guys about this for a while,” I begin, “So you both know I’m gay, which means I like girls, not boys.”  
“But why?” Cameron’s voice sounds genuine.  
“Cameron, you like guys right?” I ask.  
“Yeah, I guess,” She says.  
“Well, do you know why?”  
She thinks for a minute and then says, “It’s just the way I am, I can’t, like, decide to like girls.”  
I exhale and my face opens wide in a smile, “That’s exactly what it is for me. I like girls the same way you like boys. It’s just the way I am, and there’s no way for anyone, even Mom, to change that.”  
Ella yawns, “I think I want to marry a girl,” she says sleepily.  
“You can marry whoever you want,” I whisper, “As long as they’re nice to you.” I give her a wink.  
Cameron’s eyebrows furrow, “But doesn’t it say in like the Bible or something that you can’t be gay?”  
I nod, “Yeah, it does, but it also says not to eat pig, and not to mix linen and wool but we do both of those things. For some reason, people have a problem with this specific commandment even if it doesn’t affect them in the slightest.”  
Cameron glances at Mom’s bedroom. “But if it’s not a choice, why does Mom get mad at you?”  
“Mom doesn’t really understand that it’s not a choice. She thinks that it’s a sin and that it’s unnatural.” I sigh, “I just don’t get why she’d rather be morally or like religiously correct than be a decent person.”  
Cameron looks down at her hands. “Yeah, I get that.”  
“If you guys have any questions, you can always ask me.” I smile, and then I hear a small snore. Ella has fallen asleep with her head on the table, so I pick her up and carry her to her room. I tuck her in and press a kiss to her forehead.  
Cameron leans against the doorway, and as I exit the room, I hesitate for a moment, then pull her into a hug.  
“I’ll be home soon,” I whisper, then grab my keys and go to my car. Amy’s already there waiting for me because I texted her when I started packing saying I’d be ready in twenty minutes.  
She hops in the driver's seat and I go to the passenger seat. I toss her the keys, and she starts up the car and pulls out of the driveway.  
“Do you have his grandparents’ address once we get to Oregon?” Amy asks as we drive down the road.  
“Yeah. I went there once, but his grandparents weren’t home so I’ve never met them.” I pull up the directions on my phone and place it on the middle console in between our seats.  
“Wait,” Amy smiles, “We’re forgetting something.”  
“What?” I ask,  
“Music!” She motions her head towards my phone and I scroll through my music and put on a random playlist. Sign of the Times by Harry Styles comes on and she nods her head along to the rhythm. I feel the vibrations of the car’s sound system in my feet as the music swells. We keep driving as the playlist progresses through various songs that Amy somehow knows all the words to. I open my window and stick my head out, looking up at the stars shining brightly above us. It looks like someone embedded millions of tiny diamonds into a black velvet blanket and threw it over the sky.  
“Do you really think we’ll find him?” The words slip out as I determinedly stare out my open window.  
“Of course we will,” Amy says, keeping her eyes on the road, “We’re his best friends.”  
I look at her, the wind ruffling her hair, her eyes reflecting the stars, and her hands tight on the steering wheel, and I believe her.


	8. Chapter 8

AMY

I think I’m going crazy.  
I’m supposed to be driving, but I either find my eyes drifting to Maeve asleep in the passenger’s seat, or my mind drifting to Caleb, if he’s ok and where he is. I miss him so much, and I really hope he’s ok. I can’t even think of what might have happened to make his parents kick him out. Maybe he’s gay? That’s the only thing I can think of, but I don’t want to assume anything. The hope that he’s not gay crosses my mind, but as soon as it does I block it out immediately. Caleb’s sexuality does not, and never will depend on me, and I shouldn’t hope that it does.  
We live in Seattle, Washington, and Caleb’s grandparents live in Portland, Oregon, so it only takes 3 hours to drive there. I guess Maeve was really tired because she’s fast asleep. She’s somehow managed to curl up in the passenger seat, which I guess is a perk of being short because I could never in a million years squeeze my long legs on this chair comfortably. Maeve looks peaceful, her lips are tilted upwards in a small smile like she’s having a good dream.  
A breeze comes through the open window, and she curls up even tighter, unconsciously trying to keep herself warm. I reach into the backseat for the blanket I always keep there and toss it over her. I alternate between watching the road and fixing the blanket’s position. A piece of Maeve’s hair falls over her face and I tuck it behind her ear. I smile softly, then remember I’m supposed to be driving, and if I keep getting distracted, we will both die horrible deaths.  
I glance at the directions on Maeve’s phone and see that our destination is right ahead. I park in front of a small house painted light yellow with a pale brown roof. It’s currently 10 PM.  
I take a deep breath and shake Maeve to wake her up. She rubs her eyes and sits up.  
“We’re here?” She yawns, stretching out her arms and legs.  
“Yup,” I grab the keys and my backpack and exit the car. Maeve joins me, slinging her bag over her shoulder, and together we walk up to the front door.  
I look at Maeve for confirmation and she smiles at me nervously. I press the doorbell and a tinny melody sounds from inside the house. I hear footsteps padding up, and an elderly black woman opens the door and smiles at us. Her hair is streaked with gray, braided into long, thick, cornrows. She’s wearing bright red glasses and a pink bathrobe.  
“Hello,” She says, “How can I help you two lovely ladies?”  
“We’re sorry to bother you so late,” Maeve begins, “Are you Caleb’s grandmother?”  
“Yes!” she says, “And you are?”  
“We’re friends of Caleb,” I say, “And we were really worried about him.”  
“That is so sweet! Caleb must be lucky to have two friends like you,” she opens the door and gestures for us to enter, “Won’t you come in?”  
Maeve and I glance at each other and come to the silent conclusion that this lady can’t possibly do us any harm even if she isn’t Caleb’s grandmother.  
We follow her through the hall and into her living room. She sits on a big, cushiony chair and motions for us to sit on her couch. I set my bag down by my feet and as soon as I sit down, I sink into the pillows like they’re made of clouds. It’s impossible to sit up straight on this couch, and I love it.  
“What’s going on, Elsie?” An older man walks in, with a short gray beard, but a shiny bald head and sits down in the chair next to his wife. He’s also wearing glasses, but a button down shirt and regular slacks. He looks very dignified in his large chair, but he looks at his wife like she’s the only thing in the world that matters.  
“These two ladies are here about Caleb,” Elsie whispers to him, and pats his hand.  
“Hi,” I say nervously, “I’m Amy, and this is Maeve. We’re friends of Caleb.”  
“Very nice to meet you,” the man says “I’m Earl, and this is my wife Elsie. Caleb mentioned you two a lot. You three seemed like very good friends, and any friends of Caleb’s are friends of ours. Now, how can we help you?”  
“Caleb texted us yesterday that he was going somewhere, but he didn’t tell us where or why, and we’re really worried about him.” Maeve looks at me. “We know it seems weird and kind of invasive, but if you know where he is, we’d really like to know.”  
“As a matter of fact, we do!” Elsie smiles warmly at us, “He came by a couple of days ago, he said his parents kicked him out, but he didn’t tell us why. Our son, Nathan always made rash decisions, but when he was little we could never change his mind about something, and I doubt we could now. I wish we could make him see sense, he has a beautiful boy right in front of him, but he just doesn’t love him the way he should.”  
Elsie stares off into the distance for a minute, lost in the past, but then remembers what she was talking about. “We offered for him to come live with us, and he said he needed some time alone. So we suggested that he go to our cabin where we go in the winter, which is about a day’s drive from here. He’s completely safe, one of our family friends lives right by there if he needs anything, and there’s cell service and WiFi and all of that.”  
Maeve and I sigh in relief. Caleb is safe!  
“Would you mind telling us where the cabin is?” I ask, “We just want to talk to him,”  
Elsie and Earl glance at each other, Elsie purses her lips but nods at her husband.  
He takes a piece of paper and a pen from the small table in between his and Elsie’s chairs, writes down an address, and hands me the paper.  
“Why don’t you two stay here for the night?” Elsie asks, “I don’t think it’s safe for the two of you to be driving so late. Besides, Caleb’s probably asleep too.”  
Maeve and I look at each other, then back at Elsie and Earl.  
“We would love to. Thank you so much,” I say, and Maeve nods in agreement.  
“It’s no problem at all, baby,” Elsie stands up and motions for us to follow her. We grab our bags as she leads us down a hallway and into a small bedroom. There are frilly, cream colored curtains, a painting of a child holding multicolored balloons on the wall, and oh crap.  
There’s only one bed.


	9. Chapter 9

MAEVE

There are no words to describe how happy I am that Caleb is ok. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I just hope he won’t be mad that we came to find him, because he might just want to be alone. But we really need to talk to him.  
When I walked into that bedroom and noticed that there was only one bed, my heart skipped so many beats I almost went into cardiac arrest. This is the ultimate fan-fiction trope and I am living for it, but I am also absolutely terrified.  
I mean, I know we won’t end up sleeping together sleeping together, if you know what I mean, but if she was down for that, I mean, I wouldn’t say no.  
I’m snapped out of my impure thoughts when Elsie informs us how sorry she is that there’s only one bed. No need to apologize, ma’am, I’m a huge lesbian and this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  
Amy seems confused and slightly nervous, so when Elsie leaves the room I set my bag down on the bed and look her in the eyes.  
“Ames, if you’re not comfortable sleeping in the same bed, I can sleep on the floor,” I say, praying that she’ll say it’s fine.  
“It’s fine,” She says slowly, and I do a mental fist pump. “Just don’t try anything,” She smirks.  
“Hey, I know I’m sexy, but I have boundaries,” I grin, she laughs and shoves me playfully. I shove her back and we end up falling onto the bed, giggling, our faces way too close to be just friendly. It’s then that I notice that her eyes aren’t blue like I’ve always thought, but instead a light gray.  
My laughter fades as my eyes drift to her lips. I’m fighting every cell in my body that tells me to just lean in and kiss her. My heart is racing and it feels like it’s about to beat right out of my body.  
Just when I’ve made up my mind that, fuck it, I’m just going to kiss her, Amy clears her throat awkwardly and sits up.  
Dammit.  
“We should probably get ready for bed,” she says quietly, standing up and opening her backpack.  
We move through the motions of our respective nightly routines. Brushing our teeth, taking turns changing into pajamas in the bathroom, and finally, we’re both standing on opposite sides of the bed. All the lights are off except for the lamp on the bedside table, which is much brighter than expected. Amy’s wearing a really big black t-shirt with a pink heart on it. The shirt is so long that it brushes the tops of her pale thighs which are sprinkled with freckles. I’m wearing a tank top and shorts, which aren’t as flattering as I’d hope them to be but they’re comfortable.  
“So,” Amy says, “This shouldn’t be awkward right?”  
“Definitely not,” I’m lying through my teeth and she knows it.  
“Ok, great,” She gets into the bed and I follow suit. The bed is big, so we’re not even touching each other. Amy takes off her glasses and places them on the bedside table.  
I reach over to the bedside table and switch off the lamp.  
“Goodnight,” I say, covering up a yawn.  
“‘Night,” She answers.  
There’s silence for a while, and then I decide to be brave. I reach over and grab onto Amy’s hand. I expect her to pull away, but she doesn’t.  
Her fingers are just like I remember from that day she grabbed my hand at school: warm and soft and smooth. Her fingers aren’t thin like mine, but her hand fits perfectly in the contours of my palm. People often describe feeling sparks when touching a person they love, but this feels like something softer than sparks, like the lights from fireflies are passing between our fingers.  
I fall asleep instantly and when I wake up, Amy and I are basically spooning each other. Her body is curled around mine, I can feel her entire body pressing against my back, and her arm is draped around my hips. I don’t move a muscle for fear of waking her, so I just relax into her, closing my eyes and drinking in the sensation of her being so close to me, her nose in my hair and her arm perfectly fitting into the curve of my waist.  
She moves slightly, and takes her arm off my waist, stretching it upwards as she yawns. I’m worried she’s going to recoil away from me as soon as she notices our position, but she stays.  
I turn my torso around and sit up halfway to look at her. “Good morning,” I say hesitantly.  
“Good morning!” She says cheerfully, “We should probably get going, right?”  
I nod and get out of bed. As soon as we’re dressed and ready, we exit our room slowly only to find Elsie and Earl eating breakfast in the kitchen.  
“Come join us!” Elsie says brightly, “I have lots of muffins and coffee.” Earl nods at us from behind his coffee mug. Amy and I sit down and each grab a muffin from the plate sitting in the middle of the table.  
A teakettle whistles behind us and Elsie stands up to get it.  
“Do either of you want tea or coffee?” She asks, pouring the tea into a mug.  
“Coffee would be great,” I say,  
“Tea, please,” Amy looks shy, but she smiles gratefully as Elsie places a steaming cup of tea in front of her.  
Earl grabs the pot of coffee sitting by the muffins, pours some into a cup, and hands it to me, along with a bowl of sugar.  
“Oh, I don’t need sugar, but thank you,” I take the cup and Earl smiles and puts the bowl back on the table.  
“I drink it black too,” He says, “Otherwise it doesn’t wake me up.”  
“Caffeine is not good for you!” Elsie shakes her head as she sits down with her tea, “You drink too much of it,”  
“No such thing,” Earl chuckles, “If you don’t want me to fall asleep in the middle of the day, then leave me and my coffee alone. But I doubt even this much coffee could keep me awake during one of those damn shows you like so much.”  
“Which shows do you like?” Amy asks  
“Oh, those silly ones about high school.” Elsie smiles fondly, “There’s not any deep meaning, which is what Earl likes, but I was always too busy studying in high school to have a good time, and I think it’s sweet to see what kids these days get up to.”  
“And I’m telling you that no child today in high school actually gets away with the shit that happens in those shows!” Earl says, shaking his head as if he’s said this a million times. “They’re always being shady, getting into all kinds of messes as if there’s no consequences for what they do. If I did any of what those children do, my momma would snatch my life!”  
“Your momma got mad at you for everything, so that’s not saying much.” Elsie blows on her tea and takes a sip.  
“That’s very true,” Earl glances at his watch “You two ladies better get going if you want to reach Caleb by tonight,” He looks at his wife. “It takes about a day to get to the cabin.”  
“Ok,” I push my chair away from the table and stand up. “Thank you so much for letting us stay with you, we really appreciate it.”  
“It was no problem at all, honey,” Elsie says, “Amy, would you mind coming to help me make up the beds?”  
“Of course!” Amy stands up and follows Elsie out into the hall.  
As soon as they’re gone, Earl motions for me to sit back down and when I do he looks at me with a serious expression on his face.  
“Maeve,” he says, “What the hell are you two doing?”  
I’m speechless for a second, I’m honestly so confused. “What?” I sputter.  
“It’s obvious you’re in love with that girl,” Earl shakes his head slightly, but he’s smiling, “And she loves you too,”  
“What? I don’t- I mean- wait, she does?” My brain is short circuiting and my heart is beating way too fast.  
“She loves you,” Earl says definitively, “She just won’t admit it to herself.”  
“And you’re, you’re not, like, mad or upset that I’m in love with a girl?” I knew Caleb’s grandparents were awesome, but my first assumption is that all people are homophobic, because better safe than sorry.  
“Honey, I couldn’t care less,” Earl puts his hands on top of mine, “In my personal opinion, I think you would rival my wife and I for best couple.”  
I laugh, and wipe my eyes which are being stupid and sentimental. Just then Amy and Elsie return, Amy slips her bag onto her shoulder and Elsie hands me mine.  
“Ready to go?” Amy smiles as Elsie takes two muffins off the table and presses them into each of our hands.  
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Earl gives me a knowing look as I stand up and Elsie walks us to the door.  
“Good luck,” Elsie says as we exit the house, “Tell Caleb that we love him and we’re always here for him.”  
“We will,” Amy promises, “Thank you so much!”  
“Thank you,” I echo as we walk to the car, turning to wave at Elsie standing at the door, Earl behind her with his hand on her shoulder.  
We enter the car as Elsie closes the door, and we drive away. My head is full of so many things, I don’t even know what to think about first. I look at Amy and she looks back at me and smiles and that’s the moment I know that no matter what happens, we’re going to be ok.


	10. Chapter 10

AMY

Is it possible to have crushes on two people at the same time? Because I like Caleb, I really do, but last night with Maeve, I just felt something electric in her fingers and whenever I look at her I feel butterflies in my stomach. But Caleb! Just his laugh and his humor and just the way he is I just want to hold him close and never let him go. I don’t know what to do.  
I don’t notice how tightly I’m gripping the steering wheel until Maeve puts her hand on my shoulder and asks me if I’m doing ok.  
“I’m good,” I answer, “I’m just nervous,”  
“About what?”  
“What if Caleb gets mad that we came? I mean, he asked us not to but we did anyway.” I gnaw on my lip.  
“We’re his friends, he can’t just leave without an explanation. Something is definitely wrong, and we need to be there for him.” Maeve runs her hands through her hair and takes a deep breath.  
We both stare at the road until I park in front of a huge log cabin. I park, and we both sit there quietly.  
“I think I should go after him alone,” we say simultaneously.  
“What?” Maeve asks angrily, “Why you?”  
“Why me?” I respond, “I could ask you the same question!”  
“I’ve known him for longer! I know him better!” Maeve argues.  
“I’m better at emotional stuff!” I counter, “You’re literally terrible at it, you’d end up making him more upset!”  
“Oh, so you think I’ll drive him away?” Maeve spits, “You think I don’t know how to talk to people who are going through shit? I dealt with your bullshit for three fucking years!”  
I forget how to breathe for a second and my eyes blur with sudden tears.  
“Wait, I didn’t mean that,” Maeve’s hands fly to her mouth and she turns bright red.  
I grab my backpack and get out of the car as quickly as possible, my hands shaking.  
“Amy, wait!” Maeve’s voice sounds like heartbreak but I keep walking towards the small grassy area a little away from the cabin.  
I take my glasses off and wipe my eyes.  
Slowly I turn around and see Maeve walking off in the other direction, heading towards the cabin.  
I slowly drop to my knees and press the palms of my hands into my eyes, sobbing silently. I feel like I’m breaking into two pieces but I force myself back together. Caleb needs me.  
I stand up, dry my eyes, and continue walking towards the grassy area. I would call it a park, but it feels wrong to have a park next to such a picturesque, woodsy cabin.  
I just keep hearing Maeve’s words in my head.  
“I’ve been dealing with your bullshit for three fucking years!”  
I wasn’t trying to be annoying, I wasn’t trying to be a burden, but I was.  
Maybe I’m the one who drove Caleb away.  
And now I’m driving Maeve away too.  
No. I can’t lose both of them in one night, I’m going to find Caleb, and I’m going to bring him home.  
I notice that I’m walking a lot faster than normal, and I’ve reached the park thing.  
There’s a metal bench right in front of me, and sitting in it is a lanky boy with a fade haircut and a sweatshirt.  
Caleb.  
I let out a small gasp and he turns around to look at me.  
“Amy,” he smiles softly as he stands up, “I was wondering if you’d come,”  
“Caleb,” I say and pull him into a hug.  
We stand there for a long time, just holding each other.  
“Where’s Maeve?” He asks as we finally separate.  
“She- she went to go look for you inside the cabin,” I blink hard and force the tears back into my eyes.  
“I have something to tell you,” We say at the same time,  
“You go first,” I laugh.  
“No, you!” Caleb nods his head encouragingly.  
“Fine,” My heart is pounding so hard I think it might explode. “Caleb, I like you. Like, not in a friend way.”  
Holy shit, why am I so bad at this.  
Caleb’s face falls ever so slightly.  
“Oh no,” I say, “I’m so sorry. If you don’t like me that’s totally fine, I didn’t mean to spring this on you.”  
“No, no,” Caleb says, “If I liked anyone it would be you, Amy.” He takes a deep breath. “But I’m ace. Asexual and aromantic. I don’t want a romantic relationship with anyone.”  
“Ohhhh,” I say quietly, “Is that why-”  
“Why my parents kicked me out? Yeah.” Caleb looks at his shoes. “I might go live with my grandparents.”  
“Yeah, they told us, that’s how we knew you were here.” I smile at the memory of Caleb’s grandparents. “They’re so sweet.”  
Caleb lays his head on my shoulder. “Thank you so much for coming,” He says softly, “Even though I asked you not to.”  
“Well, you know Maeve,” I joke, “She’s great at ignoring instructions.” We both chuckle.  
“We should probably go find her,” Caleb says, “I assume she’s very worried.”  
He stands up and offers me a hand. I take it and together we head towards the cabin to find Maeve. I feel my heart squeezing up. I already faced my feelings once today, but it looks like I’m going to have to do it again.


	11. Chapter 11

MAEVE

I’m officially the biggest idiot and worst friend on planet Earth. The only reason I wanted to go after Caleb by myself is I know that Amy likes him and I didn’t want them to like, get together or something. It’s selfish, I know, but I just acted on impulse and now I’ve made a mess of everything.  
I didn’t mean to tell Amy that it’s been hard helping her through her anxiety issues. I want to be there for her, but it’s really a lot sometimes. I feel guilty when I don’t want to help her or listen to her vent, but is that my job as a friend? To deal with all her problems? I helped her as much as I could and I convinced her to go to therapy, and I think that’s enough. It’s not my responsibility to take care of her at all times. But I really regret what I said to her.  
Aargh, I’m such an idiot! I don’t know how I’m going to make this up to her. Maybe if I find Caleb and convince him to come home, she’ll forgive me.  
That dream quickly evaporates when no one answers the door after I’ve been knocking for at least 10 minutes. I sit down on the doorstep and wait, basking in the gorgeous view. The sun is setting, and there are thick, plum colored clouds filling the fiery sky. My brooding is interrupted by the sound of laughter coming from the two figures approaching the cabin.  
Amy and Caleb are walking together with their arms around each other, smiling wide.  
“Caleb!” I cry, and I run towards him but stop short at the look on Amy’s face. Her stoic glare quickly relaxes as she seems to realize what her face is doing as Caleb grins at me.  
“God, I missed you,” Caleb says, and I laugh tearfully as I pull him into a hug.  
“I missed you too,” I say, “We have so much to talk about.”  
“You guys should probably stay at the cabin until morning, it’s not a great idea to drive so far when it’s so late. Also, it’s starting to rain.” Caleb holds out his hand to feel the drops coming down.  
“Oh fuck, let’s go inside,” I laugh, and we all run to the cabin. Caleb pulls a key from the pocket of his jeans and lets us in.  
“I don’t know about you, but I’m dead tired,” Amy says, “You guys can stay up but I really need to sleep.”  
“Cool, cool, I’ll show you where the bedrooms are,” Caleb goes down a hallway and motions for Amy to follow him.  
I take my bag off my shoulder and sit down on a green couch that feels like it’s made of soft marshmallows. I space out for like, ten minutes until Caleb comes back.  
He yawns and sits down next to me. “So,” he says, “spill.”  
“Spill? Spill what?” I really hope he’s not talking about Amy.  
“What is going on with you and Amy?” Holy fuck he’s perceptive.  
“Why don’t you go first and explain why you’re here?” Am I stalling? Yes. Do I regret it? No.  
“My parents kicked me out because I’m ace and aro: asexual and aromantic.” Caleb sighs, “It basically just means I don’t want to have a romantic relationship or sex with anyone. I’m chill with platonic shit though.”  
As I digest this, he adds, “My parents think it’s a sin, like you know, this is what man was created for, to procreate or some bullshit. They basically just said humankind was created for sex.”  
I laugh, “I mean, I’m sure sex is great, but probably not the fundamental reason for creation.” I turn to face Caleb. “I’m really sorry your parents kicked you out. That’s really fucked up, but Amy and I are here for you.”  
“Thanks,” Caleb rubs his eyes, “Amy actually took it better than I thought she would.”  
“Why’d you think she wouldn’t take it well?” Uh oh.  
“Because she had a crush on me,” Caleb blushes and stares at his feet, “I mean, I don’t know why, like, I would be a shit boyfriend.”  
My throat has closed up. Now, not only is Amy mad at me, it’s confirmed that she didn’t ever want me like I want her.  
“Maeve,” Caleb pushes me with his shoulder, “It’s painfully obvious that you’re in love with Amy.”  
“Wait, what?” My voice is so shaky.  
“You love her. And you’re a fucking idiot if you think she doesn’t love you too.”  
“But— but she had a crush on you!” My heart is pounding so hard right now.  
“Maeve, I know it sounds crazy but it’s actually possible to have crushes on two people at the same time.” He makes an explosion motion with his hand next to his head. “Mind blowing, right?”  
“Amy… likes me?” He’s wrong. He has to be wrong. But maybe?  
“Yeah, Maeve, she does,” Caleb smiles at me softly, “And you should stop being a pussy and just tell her already! I’ve literally been waiting for you two to get together since we became friends.”  
“You’re joking,” I shake my head incredulously, “That’s kinda creepy, not gonna lie.”  
“Oh, shut up.” Caleb laughs, “You love me.”  
“You’re right, I do,” I say, “But I’m also really tired and emotionally drained after this sucker of a day, so I’m going to go to sleep.”  
“I’ll show you the bedroom.” Caleb stands up and walks down the hallway. I follow him into a darkened room with two small beds. Amy is lying in one of them, presumably asleep.  
“Night,” He whispers, “The bathroom is right there,” He points to a door on one side of the room.  
“Thanks,” I say quietly, “Goodnight.”  
Caleb walks away, closing the door quietly behind him. I brush my teeth in the bathroom and change into pajamas. I try to climb into the empty bed as quietly but it’s really creaky and squeaks as I lie down.  
Amy turns over in her sleep and I try to relax. I formulate a mental apology to Amy, and by the time I’m finished, I finally drift off to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

AMY

When I wake up, sunshine is filtering in through the windows and I can see dust particles floating around in the beams of light. I sit up and stretch my arms, and that’s when I notice Maeve is awake in the bed next to me. She’s sitting on top of the bed, which she’s made neatly, and she’s fully dressed in ripped jeans and a MCR t-shirt. She tries so hard to be emo, and if you didn’t know her, she’d be intimidating, but to me it’s just funny because I know she’s a total softie.  
She’s staring at the wall and it looks like she’s been there for a while. Now that I have an opportunity to see her side profile, I notice that her nose is tilted upward like a pixie’s, her cheekbones are higher than I thought, and her body is softened, with no sharp edges or straight lines. She notices me staring and clears her throat.  
“Amy--” she starts to say, but I interrupt her before she can finish. I need to emotionally prepare myself for the conversation we’re about to have.  
“Just let me get dressed,” I say, pulling clothes out of my bag, “Then we can talk.”  
I brush my teeth and dress as slowly as possible, trying to stall. Why did I pack such uncomplicated clothes? I tug at the too-big sleeve of my knit sweater and sit down next to Maeve at the edge of her bed.  
“So,” I say, “Last night.”  
“Amy, I am so sorry, so unbelievably sorry. I would literally do anything to make it up to you. I was upset and tired, and I know that’s not a good excuse, but I really did not mean what I said at all, and if you’re still mad at me that’s totally fine, I really understand because what I said was super shitty and--”  
“Maeve,” I interrupt her, because she looks fully ready to continue for at least another 2 minutes. “What you said was really hurtful. But I know that we were both really emotional and I had a lot of time to dwell on it last night so I’m not furious with you. I just… I’m still hurt.”  
Maeve looks down at her hands, “Yeah, I know. I’m really sorry.”  
“You’re going to apologize to me like a million times today aren’t you,” I joke.  
“Um, obviously,” A slow smile spreads across her face.  
“I actually have a question though,” I say slowly, “Why did you want to go after Caleb alone?”  
“I could ask you the same thing,” Maeve points out.  
“That’s fair,” I swallow hard, “I liked Caleb and I wanted to tell him. That obviously didn’t work out. But it’s fine, I think I was in the middle of getting over him anyway. So what’s your reason?”  
“Ames,” I turn to look at Maeve. She locks eyes with me and she’s so close I can see all the golden flecks in her green eyes.  
“I didn’t want you to go after Caleb because I was afraid that you liked him, and that he liked you too.”  
“But why would you be scared of that?” My voice is barely above a whisper.  
Maeve laughs softly, “Because I’m in love with you, dumbass.”  
The words have barely left her mouth before I kiss her, my hands cupping her face. Her lips are soft and full, and she tastes like strawberry chapstick. I can feel her melting into me and heat shoots through my body as she kisses me back and winds her arms around my neck like she never wants to let go.  
I can’t believe I didn’t realize how much I loved her before, because now all I want to do is kiss her, and keep kissing her for as long as she’ll let me. I move my hands to hold her waist, and she makes a small sound in her throat as she tangles her fingers in my hair.  
Someone clears their throat and Maeve and I look up to see Caleb standing in the doorway smirking.  
Maeve turns bright red, but I manage to keep my composure.  
“Why hello there,” Caleb is trying so hard not to laugh, “I think we should go, it’s already almost ten in the morning.”  
“Cool, cool,” I think I’m going to burst into flames. “We’ll be ready in five,”  
“You two better not try anything!” Caleb calls as he walks away.  
“That fucker,” Maeve looks down awkwardly, like she doesn’t really know what to do now. I smile and kiss her once, softly. I stand up and hold out my hand to her, “You ready?”  
“Always,” She says. She takes my hand and we walk out of the room together.


End file.
